Rich Kids; Poor Kids

 There are two different attitudes towards parenting. Some parents are eager to provide their children with material affluence even if they are actually struggling to make ends meet. Having experienced long years of poverty themselves, they hope to see their children enjoying what they were deprived of in their own childhood. One thing they cannot bear is to see their children victimized by their poverty. On the other hand, there are parents who think that it is better for their children to get adapted to and be better equipped for the difficulties of life. They, therefore, try in every way to expose their children to an austere lifestyle, refusing to meet their material desire beyond what they actually need.  

Well convinced that both types of parents wish the best for their children, I am somehow more in favour of the second approach. Children brought up in poverty learn from experience that life is not a bed of roses and that they will have to solve their own problems instead of depending on others for help. In fact, while the first type of parents tend to smooth the path for their children, the other type are more keen on giving their children life skill training, helping them acquire cognitive flexibility and self-care ability. These children can thus face struggles and challenges with greater confidence and courage and are more likely to achieve success later in life. 

Conversely, children whose parents are ever ready with a cushion to soften the foreseeable fall well before they make any assumedly risky attempt will never venture beyond their comfort zone. Besides, as they have got used to having everything well prepared for them, they cannot survive in times of adversity. They blame everyone and everything except themselves and end up an emotional wreck. This may seem an overstatement. But it is not far from the truth that children whose material wants are easily satisfied cannot handle frustrations and setbacks properly.  

By no means do I suggest that children should live in misery as a happy childhood is everybody’s right. How parents can prepare children for future challenges without depriving them of their childhood joy is what matters. Parents should remember that a simple day’s outing can be as much a source of joy to their children as a visit to Disneyland. In short, they should guide them to appreciate the simplicity of life.

 

Say No to the Ice Bucket Challenge

People organize activities to raise public awareness of a social or global need. We are familiar with an annual campaign known as the 30-hour Famine aimed at drawing attention to the global hunger crisis. School children are sometimes seen picking rubbish on the beach to remind the public to keep the environment clean. These activities have gained wide acceptance as they serve the purpose very well.

The Ice Bucket Challenge, which has grabbed world attention soon after its initiation, is aimed at raising fund for ALS research. It seems to be serving a cause worth great support. In fact, the activity has led to huge donations suggesting hope for a more effective cure for the disease through greater amounts on stringent research. However, it has sparked criticism lately. Why? Personally, I see this as nothing more than a viral phenomenon and would like to see it banned as soon as possible.

The act of dumping ice water on someone is meant to make him feel sympathetic about the kind of suffering the ALS victims are going through. Unfortunately, while some take the challenge with good intention, for some others, the focus is on the fun. The pictures and videos we are exposed to tend to show the ecstatic excitement of the participants. There are many who take the challenge and pass it on, quite ignorant of its original purpose. Some even take this for an in-thing to do. This may lead to a misunderstanding of the plight of the victims and an underestimation of the seriousness of the need for research on this disease.

Then the huge amount of water wasted, and still being wasted, in the name of the Ice Bucket Challenge is no less lamentable. When so much has been said and done to avoid wastage, the idea of pouring bucket and bucket of water on the ground is condemnable. Making ice cubes is itself a waste of power, too. How can we not think of many in the remote parts of China and other drought-stricken areas of the world who have to walk long distances just to get a bucket of water, which they will use and reuse before discarding it finally? For them, every drop of water counts. Are we doing these needy ones justice if we keep wasting water thoughtlessly?

By no means am I heedless for the need for ALS research. I would like to see improved medical advances in this field more than anything else. Having an ALS victim among my family members, I understand just too well what kind of suffering the disease can bring. What I am asking for is a better fund raising activity than the Ice Bucket Challenge.

Let's get out of the chair

 

When we are getting ready for an event, the first and forthmost thing is to prepare enough chairs. Inadequate seating arrangement can spark complaint. A comfortable chair is an indispensable item in an office room as it is believed to enhance work efficiency. Likewise, after a hectic day, one desires nothing more than a leisure hour in the embrace of a cosy armchair, preferably graced with the massage function. In fact, the chair has become just as much a necessity as our clothing. However, despite all the comfort a chair can afford, over dependence on it can be harmful. And it is important to rid ourselves of the disease called chair addiction before it causes more harm. 

From a recent article entitled ‘Sitting is killing you’ in Reader's Digest, I have learned about an office which has undergone a ‘chair-free revolution’ and where the staff have all got used to the chair-escape program. The office is circled by a walking track, leaving enough space for ping-pong tables. The few chairs that are found are ‘architectural accents rather than dominant furnishing’. Seminars are organized to advise the staff on healthy living and walk-talk meetings are held to get them out of their chairs.

 

The program has reaped encouraging results. The office atmosphere is now more lively and ecstatic, with the office staff happily exchanging success stories of weight loss and health gain. Their more enthusiastic work contributions have also led to the company’s financial growth.

 

I have had a personal experience of a situation where the non-provision of chairs served a very good purpose. I was invited to attend a reception in celebration of a national event. Held in the Grand Ballroom of a posh hotel, the feast was glamorous with fabulous food, luxurious decorations and a performing live band. But one thing that struck me as unusual was that there were round pedestal dining tables, each of the right height for four or five guests standing around it, which also meant that chairs were not needed. I was at first put off by the idea of having to stand while eating. But I later realized that the whole setting was to encourage more socializing among the guests. I was approached by guests I met for the first time and soon found myself conversing freely with most of those present. If we had been sedentary, we could have gone home with hardly any memory of one another. 

So there is one more thing we can add to the list of health hazards. Its’ time we pulled ourselves out of the chair more often.

 

Not fitting in?

Lunching at a fast food shop can be an unpleasant experience when it is crowded with almost all tables occupied. The food is not the cause of displeasure as there is never much to be expected from fast food. The long wait at the queue, though pestering, is accepted as part of the package. What hinders the eating enjoyment is the noise all around. You wonder why people need to talk at the top of their voices while eating.

The noise is more tolerable if it comes from children. After all, shouting is their right. But often time you find yourself in the midst of a family discussion with every detail forced into your ears. I once overheard, much against my will, a presumably divorced couple complaining about their share of responsibilities over their child. The man asserted that he could afford his care of the child for only three days a week as his mother had regular appointments with her mahjong friends. Against this the woman, her face distorted with anger, protested strongly, condemning this as a violation of their divorce agreement. The worst part of it was that the argument was taking place in the presence of the young child, who was seemingly absorbed in his plate of food with hardly any expression on his face.

Another time I had the bad luck of being within earshot of a group of teenagers sharing about their school day. They wouldn’t bother to hide their roaring laughter with occasional outbursts of vulgar words. What’s wrong with teenagers’ happy talk? You may ask. Well, if only you had heard what they said! A boy boasted of his trick of hiding the cheat sheets up the sleeves of his shirt during a test. Another laughed at the poor eyesight of the invigilator. What enraged me was not their dishonesty but the shameless way in which they bragged about it, indifferent to the disapproving eyes around them.

It is a blessing to have quiet neighbors, of course. But the ‘peacefulness’ is not always the kind you desire. Quite a few times I found myself eating with the neighboring table occupied by a family. There was hardly any exchange of words among them. The daddy was absorbed in a magazine or newspaper. The mother was busy feeding a toddler, glancing at the cell phone from time to time. The boy, obviously the toddler’s brother, was lost in a cell phone game, unconcerned about the taste of the food he put in the mouth.

Ultimately, the trouble is not about eating in a fast food shop. Is it the social phenomenon that I find disagreeable? Or is it the trouble of not fitting in the present social norm? Is this another sign of aging?

The First Phone Call from Heaven - A Book Review

 

 

The First Phone Call from Heaven

By Mitch Albom

 

 

People nowadays seem to have got used to checking the cell phone from time to time for text messages or call alerts. How would you feel if you got a call from someone who had passed away? I got fascinated the moment I started reading the story named ‘The First Phone Call from Heaven’ written by Mitch Albom. A few residents of a small town on Lake Michigan claimed to have got phone calls from their departed loved ones, drawing wide attention from both believers and non-believers of religion. While curious crowds were flocking to the town, a single father was determined to find out the truth behind the mysterious calls. What happened thereafter kept me reading with immense interest.

 

I got hooked on the story for a number of reasons. For one thing, the characters are true to life. There is Katherine Yellin, whose deceased sister called and told her about her peaceful life in heaven. Quite taken aback, she felt bewildered at first, but the repeated call gradually drove away her fear and soon she found herself waiting every Friday with her cell-phone in her hand. Six others had a similar experience of receiving the Friday ‘call’ from heaven. They were deemed the ‘chosen ones’, objects of admiration, when the incidents became front page news and claimed network coverage. However, the response was not all positive. Someone with an incurable disease found Katherine’s experience so consoling that he overcame his fear of the afterlife and willingly submitted himself to death. Katherine was then harshly criticized for spreading false hope. Even the church was affected. The increased size of the congregation was no longer a welcome sign as it was doubted whether the attention was on Gospel preaching or on the attempt at actual contact with heaven. In real life, haven’t we sometimes suffered the loss of our dear ones and long so much to seek encounters with them somehow? Are there not people who seek to make a profit by overstating the phenomenon? Do churchgoers really care for spiritual enrichment and for pursuit of the truth? Indeed evidence of human nature abounds in the story.

 

The occasional reference to the invention of the first telephone also adds to the appeal of the story. The writer points out that, whoever the inventor was, the very first telephone conversation contained these words; ‘Come here. I want to see you.’ And ever since then this has been the intention of the users of the telephone. The seven ‘chosen ones’ in the story were so convinced of their contact with the departed souls mainly because of their eagerness to see them again. Bell was told to stop talking nonsense when he mentioned a wire that could transmit the human voice. Likewise, there were protesters who viewed the phone calls from heaven with contempt and disbelief. Then upon royal request, there was a demonstration of the telephone for Queen Victoria. And the event was in the news. Now there would be a TV show broadcast live in which Katherine would be sharing a phone call with the world. Would this justify her claim to the heavenly call? I think the writer has very cleverly made use of the comparison to convey the message that despite the great changes in the models and functions of the telephone, its main use of establishing a link between people remains the same and that our desire to connect and to stay connected is still there.

 

Of course, there is no shortage of thrills to keep the reader on the hook. As mentioned earlier, Sully Harding, the single father, was skeptical of the calls from heaven. He put his life at risk in his search for information that would justify his suspicion of a hoax. Out of the reader’s expectation, the truth turned out to be related to a past incident that had caused his wife’s death and his imprisonment. Did he succeed in solving the mystery? Were the phone calls really from heaven? These are the questions that kept me turning the pages. And you will have to read the book to find out the answers.

A 'tooth' extracted

For someone with a sweet tooth, to abstain from sweet food is next to an impossibility. Until the recent months, that was exactly how I had felt. I never imagined myself saying no to ice-cream, chocolate puddings, cream cakes and cookies. My friends used to joke about my fondness for sweet things. When the sweet congee was served at the end of a Chinese banquet, I was often offered one or two extra bowls, which I accepted with delight. At a buffet, no savory food could beat the desserts for a place in my heart. At a supermarket, the shopping basket was occupied mainly by packaged juice, muffins, wafers and, of course, my beloved chocolates.

But thanks to an ex-student, I have had the sweet tooth ‘extracted’. What has she done? Well, she simply set an example too good to ignore.

I had not met her for quite a while. Then when we happened to cross paths a couple of months ago, I was surprised to find her two sizes smaller. She told me she had given up sweet food. Though half convinced, I decided that there was no harm in having a try. And that was how I started my hectic journey towards sugarfreeism.

Now I can, with a certain amount of pride, report some success. For breakfast, I have oatmeal with corn instead of milk. Crackers have replaced cakes for my afternoon tea. I now walk past a bakery without stopping to stare at the serradura. I will not touch the bowl of sweet congee at a banquet. In brief, I reject all kinds of sweet food.

But what is the sacrifice for, you may ask. Honestly, slimming is what I’ve been trying to achieve. I’ve heard about females losing control over their weight because of a change of lifestyle after retirement. I will not let this happen to me. Even if I fail to lose weight, at least, I must prevent a constant weight gain. This is not only for the sake of a better shape. My knee pain from long years’ standing could worsen if I do nothing to reduce my weight.

Persistence pays. To my delight, I have lost a few pounds. Though the physical difference is hardly noticeable, I feel my health improving. Besides, I take pride in my success in overcoming food temptation. And, definitely I rejoice over the loss of the ‘sweet tooth’.

The Real America

I have an American dream because America is a country closely related to my life though I have never set foot on its soil.

For more than four decades I had been a High School teacher, and America was a curriculum focus of the Geography lessons I taught during the first twenty years. There was a time when technological teaching aids were unknown, and hanging maps and sketches were used instead. However, I preferred to match my teaching with a quick sketch of my own. In fact, sketch maps of the American regions were already imprinted on my mind. I still remember how my students used to marvel at the quickness with which I showed the location of the five Great Lakes and River St. Lawrence. I also showed how the Rocky Mountains act as a climatic barrier between Colorado and California. Lessons on Physical Geography, too, were made more vivid with sketches such as those showing how flood plains on both sides of the Mississippi were formed.

What I favored most, however, were lessons on the early colonization of the American continent. I took great delight in telling my students stories about how immigrants from the European countries underwent the long and difficult journey across the Atlantic with the hope of starting a new life and how they had overcome challenges and obstacles before they finally settled down to a life of peace and freedom.

Today prosperous cities are found where the first thirteen colonies once lay. But stories of the bravery and tenacity of the early settlers are never forgotten. In fact, this part of America, especially the Ellis Island on the Hudson River, is the location that can be seen as the REAL America. The Ellis Island is the base of the Statue of Liberty, assumedly a joint project of the French and American peoples, thus symbolizing the friendship between the two countries. It is also regarded as an icon of freedom and a welcoming signal to the immigrants from abroad. In fact, America is a country known for its invincible efforts to promote freedom and human rights, giving hope to people who find themselves oppressed and abused just like the first immigrants from Europe. The American people are also well liked for their open mindedness and friendliness in many parts of the world, disregarding racial variations. Therefore, when asked about the Real America, I never fail to cite the Ellis Island.

In addition, while preparing my students for TOEFL tests, I was exposed to lots of information about the American culture. The comprehension passages chosen to test candidates’ understanding of various fields of knowledge quite often included historical accounts of early American exploration and settlement. Not surprisingly, I was further impressed by how well the Ellis Island and its vicinity depicted the REAL America.

On the other hand, it is agreed that attention is now focused on America’s dynamic achievements as a Super Power over the past decades. Undeniably, success has been attributed to the efforts of so many who have been educated on the valued principle of freedom for all and acceptance of varied cultures and origins. In this, the Ellis Island, a favorite site for school visits, never fails to play its part.

I have retired since last August, but my attachment to the American culture has not lessened. Instead, I still find it enriching my life. With more time at my disposal, I now read voraciously, both for pleasure and for information acquisition. My favorite books happen to be among the New York Times best sellers such as Jodi Picoult’s and Michael Connelly’s. I take delight in comparing the American teenagers’ problems with those of ours in Macau. I also get thrilled at how skillfully the American lawyers handle a court case. Moreover, I watch CBS news very often. While keeping me well informed, the videos also help me maintain the American accent of my spoken English. Last, but not least, I visit the site of ‘United States Conference of Catholic Bishops’ practically every morning for the daily reading of the Bible. I find the audio readings and the video-taped reflections very conducive to my growth in faith.

Yes, I do have an American dream. I hope God will bless me with the opportunity to find myself in a place which I have cherished in my heart for decades. Will the Ellis Island be the same as I’ve seen it so many times in pictures and videos used for my teaching aids? Will my dream materialize before my health fails with the growing age?