Spiritual Retreat in the Ward – my stay in hospital (3)

For the Holy Week, I had been assigned a few responsibilities. I was to be the commentator for the Mass of the Last Supper on Holy Thursday. Besides, on Good Friday there was the Way of the Cross on the Gia Hill, for which I was the lector at one of the stations. In addition, there was the commemoration of Jesus’ crucifixion in the afternoon. Most importantly, the Easter Vigil Mass on Saturday was an occasion I had attended annually over the past years. And the Baptismal ceremony would mean much to me this year as I would be the godmother of one of those to be baptized.

Because of my hospitalization, I was deprived of the chance to participate in all these events. However, I decided not to be left out. And out of the mercy of the kind Lord, I did get involved in the Holy Week commemoration amidst the pain and dizziness.

The lingering dizziness meant that I had to keep my eyes closed most of the time though my mind was wide awake. There was no reading or watching TV. The only thing I could do was to listen to songs on the mobile phone. I chose religious songs appropriate for reflections on Jesus’ agony, death and resurrection. There was one named ‘Four days late’ about Jesus raising Lazarus from death four days after the funeral. I kept playing the song again and again and felt elated each time by the singer’s bright and ringing voice singing the line “He’s still on time!” (www.youtube.com/watch?v=se7yAkqu3Ek).

When the dizziness was less disturbing, I browsed the websites with the hope of stumbling upon the live broadcast of a church event. Very fortunately for me, I visited the site of our Cathedral and was able to watch the ceremony of the washing of feet on Maundy Thursday. I felt touched by our Bishop’s humility in kissing the parishioners’ feet.

 (https://www.facebook.com/secathedralmacau/videos/1776393412374711/)

On Good Friday evening I intently searched on YouTube for videos displaying the devout participating in the Way of the Cross. To my delight, I found one with a voice reading the related Bible verses, guiding the viewer to pray and then meditate on Jesus’ agony station by station. I found this very useful in helping me reflect on Jesus’ great love for us. I looked at the scenes of Jesus’ passion, the cruelty of which I had dreaded previously. Thinking of His suffering, I found my own pain negligible.
(https://hk.video.search.yahoo.com/search/video?fr=yfp-search-sb&p=%E8%8B%A6%E8%B7%AF%E5%8D%81%E5%9B%9B%E7%AB%99+%E9%BB%98%E6%83%B3Youtube#id=6&vid=3431390fb2912055aa0a3a3b89c1a430&action=click)

At other times when there was not a ceremony going on, I watched online sermons of different priests. Actually, I had had the links forwarded to me before but very seldom did I care to watch them as I was preoccupied with either one thing or another. In hospital, however, I managed to pay good attention to the preaching and get really inspired.

Gradually recovering, I was able to do some reading. It was a book assigned by our reading group. Without disturbance from the everyday trifling matters, I enjoyed the reading far more than I usually did. I also got a flood of inspiration ready to share about in my next gathering.

In a way I can see my hospitalization as a spiritual retreat. I did more praying and meditating with an increased awareness of the consolation from God’s presence amidst the pain I went through.