A pilgrim, not a tourist

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Before we set off to the Holy Land, Fr. Peter and Sr. Victoria had reminded us that we were going on a pilgrimage, not a pleasure tour; we were to see not only with our eyes but with our hearts; we were to seek the awareness of the Holy one instead of merely having fun and entertainment. Now that I have come back with happy memories of the visit, one question I still ask myself is whether I was there as a pilgrim or as a tourist.

The pilgrimage had almost all the benefits of a pleasure tour with visits to gorgeous scenic spots, delicious local cuisines, safe and cozy coach rides and comfortable hotel accommodation. There were also efficient tour guides taking care of our well-being and providing cultural, historical and contemporary heritage interpretation for us. Besides, we were shown to places where we could shop for souvenirs to our hearts’ content.

However, we were not lost amidst all these attractions. We remained clear-headed enough to realize that there was more we were looking for on a pilgrimage. We remembered our hope to gain a deeper understanding of the One we follow and to trace His whereabouts made known to us in the Scripture. Our itinerary consisted mainly of visits to the churches and other historical sites reminiscent of Jesus’ life on earth. The Bible verses chosen for the daily mass were associated with the major events in His life, in memory of which the church was built. In addition, Bible reading on every historical site we visited also served to remind us of what happened to Jesus there.

But frankly, it was not during these religious activities that I particularly felt the presence of God. They were, to some extent, what I had been doing in Macau, thus too familiar to initiate an intimate connection with Jesus. Rather, there were places, people and situations that gave me the feeling of having an encounter with Him.

On our flight to Tel-Aviv, Israel, we were served what I thought were biscuits. Then the guide told us that it was unleavened bread, served because it happened to be the Passover Week for the Israelites. So, that was unleavened bread, mentioned so often in the Scriptures! And the announcements were partly in Hebrew, a language spoken by the Jews in Jesus’ time, and probably a language Jesus himself  used.

The Lord said to His disciples "Beware of the leaven (false doctrine) of the Pharisees" (Matthew 16:6; Mark 8:15).

The visit to the Judaean Desert was thrilling! We had learned from the guide book that it was ‘an exciting and unique place with fascinating nature reserves, historic sites, monasteries and primeval panoramas’. But the actual visit there was far more captivating. When the landscape gradually came into our sight as the coach drove along, I felt like screaming in wonder. How overjoyed we were when told that we could actually go up the plateau and feel how Jesus felt during His forty days in prayer! Related Bible verses flashed across my mind and I heard myself murmuring, “How did Jesus spend those forty days where we now keep fidgeting the whole time in the scorching heat?’

John the Baptist was “a voice of one calling in the desert...” (Mark 1:3). Jesus was “led by the Spirit into the desert” (Matt. 4:1).

We prayed the Way of the Cross at Via Dolorosa one early morning. On our visit to the Holy Sepulchre we joined the long queue for admission to the Altar of Crucifixion only to be allowed a few brief seconds on the spot where Jesus’ crucifix was believed  to have been erected. Those places were supposed to have called to memory Jesus’ passion and death. But to tell the truth, I felt more touched at two other sites instead.

The Garden of Gethsemane, now beautiful with blooming trees, was where Jesus prayed to his Heavenly Father before his arrest. Imagine his sadness and disappointment at his disciples’ refusal of his most needed support and consideration! Looking at the tree supposed to be the only listener to Jesus’ praying, I felt so sorry for Him.

 “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.” ( Luke 26:39)

 In the Church of St. Peter in Gallicantu, which commemorates Peter’s triple denial of his Master, we were shown down a bottle-necked underground cell, assumedly Christ’s Prison, where He might have spent the night before he was crucified. Despite the fact that it was now well lit and clean to welcome visitors, it could be imagined the cold and damp Jesus was left to endure during those long hours, made all the more intolerable by His disciples’ heartlessness. My heart ached at the thought of his agony, which had started even before he was led down the long path with the cross on his shoulders.

And I was touched by Jesus’ generosity in forgiving Peter. In this Holy Year of Mercy, Peter’s repentance and his reconciliation with Christ after the Resurrection was a good reminder of God’s mercy in always giving us the chance to repent for our sins.

"And Jesus saith unto him, Verily I say unto thee, That this day, even in this night, before the cock crow twice, thou shalt deny me thrice" (Mark 14:30)

Quite on the contrary to the sad thoughts and feelings initiated by these sites, there were happy reminders of Jesus’ life of ministry. The hiking down a hill on the north-west side of the Sea of Galilee will always remain a memory to relish and revel in. We walked down a beaten track, carefully picking our way among strewn pebbles and slippery boulders. For the most part of the journey, I had a friend walking side by side with me, giving me support and confidence. And a voice, each time belonging to a different owner, was heard warning me against potential danger. I felt so well cared for that I whispered a prayer of thanks to God for having placed loving angels by my side.

And the wheat field on the hill slope was a pleasant surprise. We remembered how Jesus was criticized by the Pharisees for allowing his disciples to pick the grains of wheat on Sabbath Day. I bent down and posed for a picture of myself mimicking the act of picking the grains. But to my great regret, I forgot to actually pick a few to show my Sunday school students, though I had intended to.

Jesus said, “The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath” (Mark 2:27).

On the boat ride in the Sea of Galilee, we had a wonderful time singing and dancing. For the rest of the journey, we were enjoying the serenity of the sea and the beauty of the shoreline scenery. Was the sea as peaceful at the time when Jesus fell asleep, leaving his disciples on their own? How violent was the storm that caused the disciples to be in great fear until it was pacified by Jesus?

“Who is this? He commands even the winds and the water, and they obey him” (Luke 8:25).

And the scenery up Mount Taboo was breath breaking and beyond words. When Peter proposed building three tabernacles, one for Jesus, one for Moses and one for Prophet Elijah, he must have been captivated by the jaw-dropping views just as we were. It’s natural that we desire a place far away from the turmoil and chaos of the world but that should not be our goal of life. The purpose of Jesus’ transfiguration was to strengthen his disciples’ faith in his divinity but they would still have to face the reality of his imminent agony and death. Inspired by the beauty of Mount Taboo, we should now feel more assured of our commitment to valuing and conserving God’s creation by contributing to world peace and environmental protection.

Just then there appeared before them Moses and Elijah, talking with Jesus. (Mathew 17:3)

So can I claim to have been in the Holy Land as a pilgrim? Definitely, I was not a mere tourist as I did think of Jesus wherever I went. I felt the joy of being where he had once been, meeting people who were probably his descendants speaking his language. Yes, I was a pilgrim, though not a good one. The schedule was so packed with visits to so many places that we were left hardly any time to settle down in quiet prayer and meditation. Nevertheless, the pilgrimage has brought about change in me spiritually. The Bible verses mean a lot more to me and I pray with greater sincerity as Jesus is now not a distant God but a close friend. If I have the chance to revisit the Holy Land, I will choose fewer destinations so as to leave adequate time for prayer and reflections.