Think before you leap

In her article entitled “Motherhood is no Facebook fantasy life” in the South China Morning Post dated November 24, Miss Amy Wu raises doubt about the increasing attempts of single women to pursue motherhood, taking advantage of the ease afforded by advances in medical science.  

I fully agree with her that careful consideration is essential before one decides to ‘jump on the baby bandwagon’, as Miss Wu puts it. Single parenthood may have been glamourised through the flow of photographs and posts on Facebook, but raising a child solo is by no means easy or rosy.  

The single mother will be confronted with serious problems for the foreseeable future. It is widely known that raising and educating a child can be a huge financial burden these days. Besides, even with the help of a babysitter, the single mother must dedicate a lot of time and attention to taking care of the child. Moreover, as the child grows up gradually, the unpleasant realities of life without a father will gradually make themselves felt.

In the present world one needs to survive great challenges. The single mother ought to be ready to bring up a child brave and strong enough to endure life’s hardships that exacerbate with calamities such as global temperature rise, conflicts between nations and others . 

In addition, consideration ought not to be taken only from the mother’s point of view. While thinking how much she will benefit from having a child in terms of personal satisfaction, should she not also give some thought to the child’s own needs? If the child could, would he choose to be born of a single parent? Would he not see the lack of a father a regret in life? 

By no means do I want to spread pessimism. We have heard of the success of people born of single parents. But as Miss Wu says, ‘unwed women ought to think carefully before taking a leap where there is a point of no return, for better or worse’.

Inspirations from a Book Launch and Signing Event

Last Sunday I attended a book launch and signing event. My initial intention was to support RM, my ex-student who was one of the three authors hosting the event, but, to my delight, I ended up finding my long-dormant writing urge awakened.

During the book launch speech the three authors shared about their own writing experiences. Naturally, each told his stories, which were interesting for their own sake. However, there happened to be several ideas they had in common, the most impressive being the need for reading. It was agreed that though there are writing skills to master, the best key to successful writing is frequent exposure to the language through reading extensively. RM, for example, had been on school visits promoting reading to students of different grades. When asked whether he also taught them writing skills, he remarked that his style of writing was not appropriate for students of young age. But he believed that good writing can result from a well developed reading habit and that so long as we read, we can write.

I couldn’t agree more. For a few weeks, I had left my blog unattended all because I had not been reading much except when preparing myself for a sequence of Bible sharing presentations. Consequently, apart from reflecting on my experience of those talks, I was uninspired for other topics even when I felt like writing. Now that the talks have ended, I can switch back to my usual kind of reading: reading novels for pleasure and reading newspapers for information. Hopefully, my urge to write will gradually be awakened, as mentioned above.

RM also mentioned one very precious concept: it is important to keep trying in spite of setbacks. He was referring to the attempts to get an article or story accepted for publication. Few publishers can remain indifferent to a well-intentioned contributor with invincible tenacity and persistence. They will gradually get used to the name of the author with frequent contributions and will finally give his works their favorable consideration.

This made me think of my attempts to have my articles published on the Opinion Page of the SCMP. I did get one posted but got no response to the rest of the few I sent. I guess my opinion pieces are not of interest as I’ve been writing from the point of view of a Macau citizen. There may be other reasons, too. Having been turned down several times, I’ve given up the attempt though I’m still keen on responding to some social and world issues.

I am glad I got inspired by the talk of the authors at the book launch. I believe I will get more enlightened through reading their books, on which they have gladly signed their names.